What follows is my journey along Christ's Way. It is a flight with Chrsit as I have recalled it at this time. As with all things the Holy Spirit guides us gently most of the time and I hope that this same Spirit will enliven you in your soaring with the Saviour.
I first present to you the image of flight instead of a walk along a path as I have found in my experience that the path is always darting here and there, watching out for unexpected obstacles, and always aware that Christ is not linear but "3D" in his revelation to us.
All persons on our journey are equally "all over the place" and that is the nature of being human, in many ways of sin, but Jesus Christ comes and guides us through; those are the moments when we soar.
The frenzied image below can be related to our greed and faithlessness when we no longer soar, reaching for the light, but plunge to our basest wants covered in frenetic shadows, wrongly believing we are brightly lit. It is with this that I continue to reflect and expand on my faith and the faith in our Church today.
As a child I grew up in a “broad” / “evangelical” church setting at St. Peter’s, Town of Mount Royal, under such pastors as Murray Magor, Peter Mason, Peter Hancock and Michael Pountney. I went through the ranks from junior to senior choir at St. Peter’s over my ten years at the parish; enjoying an international choir camp each summer. Such was my devotion to the choir that when we moved 30 km away, my parents and I continued to attend; myself, taking trains in for choir practice weekly.
In my teens, curates such as Brett Cane made a deep spiritual impact on the youth, and through this active youth group, and servers guild, came a new initiative, “Crosstalk Ministries.” This evangelical group offered a summer day camp program, a week long senior and junior camp, and a monthly gathering of all the diocesan youth. I became very involved at many levels, for many years, until my mid-twenties. Through it I came to know Our Lord Christ Jesus in a personal way and felt a very powerful call to serve his Church. Though I was involved with Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship, a member of Synod as a Youth Delegate and on various youth related diocesan committees, I was initially never really committed to the call I recognized.
At that time choir was a very import part of my life and I was led to St. Matthias, Westmount ; a traditional parish with an extremely vigorous choral program (choir practice three times a week with two services). Choir provided a strong experiential grounding in liturgy and tradition. It brought out in me a very keen sense of the mystery and greatness of our God. Of course I became quite well versed in the BCP liturgy of the Morning and Evening Office as with the Eucharist. Through the choir I also became exposed to, and friends with, many faithful homosexual Christians.
Because my parents desired me to be closer to my CEGEP, I moved in with a spiritual mentor whom I met at CAMAC choir camp, Fr. Peter Hannen. Though I did not attend the regular worship at St. Columba’s, I was very much exposed to this very high church tradition. I can say with some humor and in all honesty that it was similar to osmosis; the symbolic rituals and iconic images permeated my spirituality. That year had a very deep impact on my faith, and upon reflection developed further my understanding of the vastness of our Church.
After a very brief time at the Cathedral, in my early twenties, I wished to revisit my evangelical roots, as I felt a bit starved for more biblical preaching and teaching. Deciding to switch choirs, I began attending St. George’s , Place du Canada, in the heart of downtown Montreal ; my boyhood mentor Brett Cane was now their priest and was an obvious draw. After meeting my future wife a few years later at McGill University we remained part of the congregation until our first child was due.
Mainly for logistical reasons, carting around a carriage on the Metro, Sherry and I decided to join our local church: St. Columba’s. Archdeacon Hannen remained their priest and I became quite active, with my family, in the life of this high church, Eucharistic, BAS community. Those seven years were a joy, as I became more involved at Synod and later in the parish as Warden. But this time was very thought provoking, especially coming from strong evangelical roots. In 1994, Fr. Peter and myself went to Essentials ’94. I found that after this point, I was very much in the middle ground seeking to bridge the gap between the two traditions which I had come to love and appreciate. Theologically I remained naïve, but honestly believed that both traditions were valid expressions of the Church, guided by the Holy Spirit; and I found detestable the arrogance of those extreme.
My theological training at Montreal Diocesan Theological College was mainly balanced with a “liberal” Anglican tendency; especially given the Essentials polemic. Though our worship was mainly BAS, with music from Common Praise, many discussions took place over liturgical forms and historical context. It very much solidified my personal sense of the Anglican “Via Media.” I remain unsure if I won the college’s Alys L. G. Slater Memorial Bequest Award for Liturgical Excellence for this articulated and lived liturgical theology or if I was just fortunate to have fewer colleagues that year. My placement at St. Paul ’s, Lachine , under the pastorate of Barry Clarke, now Bishop of Montreal, was a wonderful example of this expressed balanced approach, with an emphasis on pastoring and the balanced liturgical use of both BAS and BCP.
The congregations I now serve, and inherited, are Eucharistic, BAS and use Common Praise. I have balanced the music between seasonal traditional hymns and praise songs. During penitential seasons we have begun to use the 1962 rite in the BAS. During Holy Week I have reintroduced the Maundy Thursday Eucharist shared after a simple agape meal. This past year I asked that this night we hold a Vigil from 8:00 pm to 8:00 am and it was extremely well received as parishioners came for an hour to read and pray; each hour had at least two people in prayer. As you can tell by my enthusiasm this is one of the types of devotion that I love and has come from my catholic experience. We also have had a very well attended Alpha group this past year and for the first time 12 individuals were led by the Holy Spirit, and very gently by myself, to enter into open prayer. Each person opened up and prayed in earnest for loved ones and situations in a way only privately done before. Again, my enthusiasm reveals the love I have for prayer and for a personal zeal for the Lord, which opens us all up to our Baptismal ministries. I hope you have also seen in these examples my balanced nature, which I have tried to express in my faith journey.
I am comfortable in any setting and find myself at ease singing Eucharistic Prayer # 4 from the BAS as with a fully sung BCP liturgy; from a said Office to a full Choral service; from a high mass with incense to a praise service with open prayer and healing ministry.
Liturgically you would find that I would be more comfortable with weekly Eucharist. During Lent my “catholic” side comes through as I am more comfortable with a Scriptural version of the Stations of the Cross on Good Friday and with a liturgical treatment of the full Triduum. I especially like what the BAS does during Holy Week.
I believe children and teens need summer programs with an emphasis to root them in Scripture, and need youth groups throughout the year for companionship along the Way. As they grow older, exposure to various theological understandings helps to broaden their view of the vast Church and help them understand the current dynamic in the Anglican Church of Canada. As with all things I prefer a balanced and informed approach and I feel my experience and call tells me to serve a community gently pastoring through challenges of theological and liturgical experience. I rely very much upon my theological education, my library, and above all my faith founded in Scripture. I continue purchasing many theological publications to stay abreast of current and historical thought: always prayerfully considered.
I am uncomfortable with the issue of same sex blessings and understand both arguments for and against. Though I love and care for many gay friends, and know many in loving long-term relationships I have yet to be able to accept a Scriptural understanding which “affirms the sanctity of same sex unions”(emphasis mine). I do not want to witness the church divide over this issue; and don’t feel it’s warranted. I fear that we are already in schism and will need to make choices no one wishes to make.
I do believe strongly in the “Via Media” as well as the understanding of tradition and reason being important with Scripture as guide. I believe Scripture is sufficient for salvation, as stated in the Lambeth Quadrilateral, and to which I adhere.
I maintain that the Holy Spirit is working in the Anglican Church today, as the Holy Spirit has done throughout our frail Church history; and is binding us to affection. As I’m sure you have seen, I uphold the kernels of wisdom behind the Elizabethan Settlement, where catholic and protestant can live together in the community of Anglicanism, a community of faith.
Always In Christ,
Douglas+
